The Mountain Top

Half way up a mountain I begin to speak my dream but it doesn't come across in the right way. I climb to the top of the mountain and from there I find a depth to my voice and the dream rings out strong and clear.

Severed Head

A snake's head is presented.

Dressing Up As Icons

As each guest enters the party they are asked to dress a dummy as a famous icon and animate it. Ed wraps it in a sheet and it becomes a life size version of a Sindy doll. A woman with facial hair becomes a combination of George Sand and Eric Burden.

Looking For Dream Objects

In the corner of a dark room is a glass fronted cupboard. I look inside for dream imagery. It is empty except for a model of a galleon on the top shelf.

Warning Disregarded

My attention is drawn to a horror film which shows a huge animated house going on the rampage. Although it is causing terrible havoc it has an innocence about it like a scared King Kong. I ignore the call to watch this film claiming that I have seen it before.

Black Thoughts

We are required to write down our three worst features. In a ritualistic dance these negative statements materialise into a viscous black cloud that I am juggling in front of my eyes.

Frog Swarm

The air is thick with tiny frogs. I try to swat them before they land on my body.

Impossible To Blag

Three men are here to listen to the pianist and clarinettist. My role is to turn pages, something I haven't done for years. By the second page I am completely lost and miss my queue. One of the men stops the procedings. He points to something on the bass clef line. "What note is this?" I am not sure...a "C"? "I thought as much," he says, "Please leave now."

Car Journey In The Woods

We are driving through a thick forest along a track overgrown with weeds. Hazel tells us to duck when the branches are very low and we will be fine. I decide to ride on the roof of the car but soon regret it as I am wearing shorts and the stinging nettles whip my thighs.

Death Of My Partner Nate

As Nate (from Six Feet Under) dies, a dull photocopy of his image slowly shrinks away into the night sky. Sobbing crocodile tears I lie to some old acquaintances about the time of his death claiming that I have been in no fit state to visit them.

Modern Family Unit

A TV documentary shows an old soap star reunited after ten years with his soap family of wife and three daughters. We watch as they drink to his real life adoption programme. Celebrations are premature as he has not yet been accepted by the authorities as a suitable parent.

Rookie Police Officers

I am undergoing an experimental police training programme which involves expressive movement. The superintendent (who used to be on The Bill) insists we all group hug and greet each other with a friendly kiss. I join in very reluctantly.

No Good As A Manager

"We will be reviewing your pay," my employer says to me, "We have to make cuts."
"But we run all kinds of exciting projects don't we?" I answer. "Speak up for me, Anne."
"Well Robin," Anne replies hesitantly,"You can never replace Philippa...There I've said it... but you forced me to. You're too disorganised. You're no good as a manager."

Elemental Drawing

I am looking for little discarded objects like buttons to draw. The visiting artist draws seeds. "Did you always make work that starts from such small basic elements?" I ask her, thinking that I am probably on the wrong track with my subject matter.

Backstage Fear

Once again I am waiting in the wings of a theatre. Because I had been so dismissive of this play in rehearsals I didn't learn my lines properly and now I can't remember what my lines are or when I go onstage. If I can only find them I am sure the rest will fall into place. I search frantically for the script.

Naked Walk

It is a cold winter's day. Ian is taking me downstairs to an outdoor swimming pool. There are a lot of people about, dressed in warm clothes. I am completely naked.

Kev Returns From The Dead

I had expected never to see him again. He has returned as a young boy with an incurable mental illness which will grow steadily worse. There is no-one else to care for him. My heart sinks as I lie on the bed with him. The dead weight of his arm is heavy on my shoulder.

My Girlfriend's Funeral

The service is to take place in an old Nissen hut. We strip old paint from the exterior and I insist we paint the guttering a bright orange. The bullish youth leader wants to turn the whole event into a football match. I am livid. She was my girlfriend so I am the one to decide.
I threaten to call the police.

Rightful Praise

A cleaner is picking up scraps of rubbish on the stage at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Every time he places something in the bin bag there is rapturous applause from the audience.

Inept Actor

I am playing a part in a Shakespearean play. I have already missed one cue in the first act, and have lost half my costume. Now I am frantically searching for a script to check my lines.
"Don't worry so much about it," one actor advises me, "Relax and the words will come."
I run into the courtyard and scream, "NO! I don't know when I come on. I am not doing it. I can't remember ANYTHING."

Light Dance

Tor and I are dancing in the conservatory, twirling ropes of lights around us. The lights spin so fast we seem to almost dissolve. As we slow the movement down I steady Tor to stop her falling.

The Drawing That Revealed Too Much

I meet a trendy couple in Paris who ask me to draw their portrait. I make a delicate collaged image which records all of my thoughts- a drawing with my internal soundtrack. When I play it back to them, my recorded inner voice is moaning at the irritating woman, "Stop complaining all the time. Please just shut up for god's sake".

Surprise Party

There is a knock at the door. A group of six mummers are led in and then smartly directed out through the side window. Another knock. This time a longer line of people pour in. I recognise them as acquaintances from my past who I have no desire to see again.

A Man Called Heffa

I meet a beautiful man. We are strongly attracted to each other and kiss passionately. I notice his face is covered in acne and his lips are cracked and bloody. Still he seems beautiful to me. I can see myself loving this man for the rest of my life.

Unusual Exhibition Ticket

We are all a little drunk. I have a slice of cucumber in my pocket left over from last night's dinner party. Fionna suggests it would make a great entrance ticket for my twelve month show at the Dock. We are hysterical with giggles at the idea of everyone having to keep a cucumber slice in their wallet for a whole year.

The Teddies Are Chucked Out

In a clear-out session Dad has dumped Edward, Big Ted and Judy in a rubbish cart. I am furious and rant at Mum. She says with a tired voice, "But, dear, your father fought in the Second World War for you." I am not sure this is strictly true but acknowledge that I need to keep things in proportion.

Table Of Assaults

Arranged neatly on the table are all the stones and other missiles that have been thrown at the young man during his life.

Break-In

It is 2 or 3 am. Someone is kicking in my front door while I am looking at nuts and bolts. I try to scream to frighten them off but no sound comes. I am terrified.

The Lost Bag

I am about to give a talk about my work but I have left my bag at the hotel. I rush back to the foyer to find it is full of bags identical to mine. When I eventually return to the lecture hall half of the audience has already walked out.

If All Else Fails

If the country falls apart, and there are no jobs on the tills at Sainsbury's, I can always resort to selling my own brand of handmade porn - biro scratched sex animations or plastecine erotica.

The Blue Dress

I have bought my girlfriend a tiny minidress as a present. While she is in the bathroom I squeeze into it only just getting my shoulder in before she enters the room. "Wow, that is a beautiful dress," she says. "It is for you," I say kissing her. She is naturally thrilled.

The Mutating Sponsor

As we move from saloon to public bar our benefactor appears in pairs, morphing every second from Marina Abramovic to David Aaronovicz to David Wojnarowicz to Daniela Nardini. It is as if I am visualising the process of searching for the right name.

Bears Are Not Pets

There is a grizzly bear in the back yard. He seems friendly enough. I teach him some dance moves. When I return later with my camcorder six huge surly bears have joined him. They eventually leave snarling, but my grizzly remains. He is now wearing shades and looks really mean and unpredictable. I give up on the idea of filming him.

Wrong Focus

Alice, Hazel and I watch a fashion parade of grim second hand clothes. We assume our role is to buy some of the garments. Too late I realise we have made a mistake and that in fact, tomorrow, we are expected to identify one of the 50 odd models who have paraded in front of us.

Shunned By Film Star

A magician appears to grow Gwyneth Paltrow from a strand of hair. Later I find the trick, which is a kind of wig, and playfully place it on Gwyneth P's head as she conceals the rest of her body behind a black curtain. She pushes me away irritatedly- I am not her friend and she does not wish me to come so close.

Limited Choice

A young Philippino man is being hounded by the police and press. His only possible choice is to seek refuge with his family who shunned him years ago. Trembling he looks in through the front window at his family. Will they shelter him or abuse him more violently than the state?

Art Theory Talk

David Wojnarowicz shows me his series of alphabet cards. Each makes a theoretical comment on religion through simple imagery and text. I don't understand the jokes. He talks intensely to me but his language is so complex I am not even sure if he is discussing his or my own work.

Communication Device

I invent a useful tool for wheelchair users who have little or no speech. It is a stick with a small pointing hand attached to the end.

The Overgrown Garden

Gran has just died. I argue with my sisters about the upkeep of the garden. It is already a mess. "I just want want her back," I sob to Aunty Joan (who died five years ago).

Mum's Official Jewelry

Penny carries a large blue earring in the shape of a chandelier and matching tiered necklace. She places them on the lectern and arranges the mike in preparation for Mum to deliver her formal speech.

Simple Folk

We have driven across an iron girdered bridge to France and now find ourselves in a godawful cafe. It is like the worst of British cafes. "You mean we have driven all this way just to be served this filth?" I shout at the proprietor. "We are just simple folk who don't question anything. We have always been so," he replies.

DIY Desk Top

I am building a desktop out of hardboard. A kid watching me is unimpressed and warns me, "Remember it is going to get very bloody. I don't want my clothes messed up."

Put Firmly In My Place

I am talking loudly to two friends in a restaurant. They tell me I told them the same filthy stories about myself last time.
"Was I boring?"
"Yes," the stranger to my right says emphatically, "Shut up."

Call Of The Wild

I am returning two black wolves to the heart of the forest.

Stairwell of Grief

Using the hand rail I am climbing up the inside of a concrete stairwell to the flat of a friend John who has just died. All the way up are old friends of John's, some are weeping. I greet each in turn. Neil says this is like a rite of passage - a way of saying goodbye.

The Problem With Dream Walking

I am walking with a group of friends. Everyone is gliding along so fast. I am lagging behind, my feet like lead. There is a knack to getting around in dreams - there's no gravity - so you have to remind yourself all the time how to do it and often I get it wrong.

Middle Class Melodramatics

A group of chic middle aged women are on a retreat. Some of the women have been unfaithful to their husbands. One woman's husband has died with shock at the news. She weeps bitterly, "But I hated him - he treated me so badly."

Walking The Line

I demonstrate to a sweet family that I have no choice but to take a straight line through their property, destroying whatever lies in my path. The line leads to the wide space beyond their small home. Despite being disturbed by my action the family want to follow me.

Holiday Camp Cave

Having climbed down physically demanding metal ladders we find ourselves in a vast artificial cave full of naked hippies. Suddenly the plastic glitter sand begins rolling like water creating huge waves. It is all motorised and a lifeguard is on patrol to check that no-one drowns.

Nothing To Declare

A mother and baby are hurriedly shown out the back way to a taxicab, avoiding the main Dream Customs gates. They get through without disclosing any dream.