Lizard Man

I glimpse a man with the head of a lizard walking past an empty room.

Pink Lips and Dead Mice

I am stopped in the street by three straight lads, "Come to our party, come on, I'll kiss you on the lips, " one says jokingly.  

"OK," I challenge him and he does and his lips are pink and wet and lovely.

We step over piles of dead mice. So many mice everywhere.

Just Not Funny

A friend's new cabaret show is a list of awful gags that are not funny at all. He endlessly repeats (the late) H.R.H.Regina Fong's impression of Cilla Black, milking it dry. The small audience however seem to enjoy it to the extent that one boy works with him to refilm "Tarzan and the Ape". In this version a rabbit is perched on Tarzan's shoulder twitching its nose.

Trusty Sheepdog

I have just been to an acquaintance's party where I was barely acknowledged by the hostess. As I walk away barefoot along a dusty shit strewn path a scruffy old sheepdog joins me. She's friendly and defends me from other dogs. A boy joins me. I tell him I think I'll keep this dog, I like her company, despite the fact she is a bit daft. I feel good about that decision.
"But you could always take her," I say to the boy who seems lonely.

Dead Dog

A dog has been knocked down and and is lying dead in the middle of Streatham High Road.

Happy Ending

A bullish man, the father of a man with learning disabilities, is given a psychology test. It is clear he is incapable of answering even simple questions like differentiating pictures of a panda and a zebra. His son seems confused and worried- is he being taken away from his dad?
The father has an epiphany when he finds a friendly dog that he had previously attempted to kill and his son returns looking radiant. We realise we have to make allowances for the father's bad behaviour because he is disabled too.

Penny And The Flying Ants

I have become quite attached to the flying ants crawling over the sheets on my bedroom floor. I notice how they all cling to the cotton when I lift it up. I scrape off their sticky gel, a precious life giving substance, and carefully store it in some lace. Penny is a bit shocked at what I am doing. "The place will be swarming with ants, you should get rid of them," she says, "They can get really nasty, a swarm of ants." I am a bit hurt that she should want me to destroy the fluid but concede that she is probably right. Everything will have to be bleached.

Elephant Drawing

The last exercise is being written for our book. It shows how to create a life size drawing of an elephant from lots of sheets of paper.

Rodents In My Garden

My garden is a mound of soil piled up against one wall. Running around are three rats.
There are actually six rats. A live squirrel is playing with a dead squirrel.

Dogs At The Door

I am walking my (long dead) Jack Russell, Dilwyn, along a country lane. In the distance I see two terrifying black dogs rushing towards us. I run into the porch of a house calling to Tor to get in quickly. I close the glass panelled outer door behind me knocking on the main front door. Tor Tor hurry up. As she approaches I can see the dogs through the mottled glass. "Open up,"she laughs, "look." Behind her are two soppy black spaniels.

Distant Dog

As I head along the motorway my dog is tagging along behind halfheartedly. He is so far away he has become little more than a black dot in the distance. I have to believe in this relationship and that he will return without my insisting that he sticks by me at all times. So I walk on, miles ahead. Will he follow like a good sheepdog? Have I made a mistake? I so want to see him again.

Sporty Spice's Dog

Three dog owners - one of them Sporty Spice - take their untrained dogs for a walk on Streatham Common. Sporty Spice lets hers off the leash and he dashes down a foxhole dragging out ten snails. He then heads down another hole and fishes out a freshly killed plucked bird with pale spots on its skin.



(What's with all these dogs??!)

Golden Labrador Bites Off Black Dog's Head

A police officer recalls a nocturnal police raid where a golden Labrador police dog charged into the bushes in search of the criminal. The dog returned after a "snap!" was heard. In its mouth was the severed head of a black Labrador. The P.O. says he will never forget it and swings a long wire around at ankle level to catch the criminal.



Keep on getting things happening around the ankles in my dreams...

Ancient Creature

An early crude cartoon - centuries old - maybe something from Lincoln Cathedral. Or perhaps an ancient drawing of a lion or a dog.

Hungry Puppy

Oggy, a young terrier, is charging about on a busy main road. I run after him and see him disappear under two lorries. I manage to stop the traffic and he dives into a local school pursued by little kids. Stepping over a ground covered with scorpion fossils, I finally catch him and now he seems even younger, he has no teeth. He is so hungry, desperate to eat anything. I should probably return him but I have a strong feeling I want to keep him.

Catboy Twins

Wonderful dreams tonight - more journeys to exotic places. We pass through a shop/museum showing a collection of intriguing artefacts from around the world. Mum loves it and wants to stay longer. At the end I see two beautiful men with cats' ears, dressed in cat suits. They are young and nimble and carry a large drawing board.


(The men make me think of the amazing artist /tightrope walker Phillipe Petit.)

Injured Dog In A Glass Case

A group of people are gathered around a vitrine in the street. Inside is a dog , possibly a boxer. It is hardly moving but we can just make out it is alive. The glass door is locked and it seems the owner must have abandoned it. An old man and his wife are doing their best to coax the dog out through a small opening at the front. A long thin bone snaps off its front leg - so that's why it can't move. I have faith that they will get the animal out - the man seems to know what he is doing.

One Dog Wanted

I see a sign in a window- WANTED ONE DOG - TO LIVE WITH ALICE AND CAOIMHE. I am aware of a very friendly curly haired dog (an Airedale I realise when I check on waking) who is following me everywhere.

I told this dream to Alice who showed me her old photograph album - her favourite dog as a child was an Airedale. I have no recollection of knowing this before she told me, but guess that the information got in subliminally somehow or other. Weird.

Wild Boar Hunt

In a scrubby field a powdered Redcoat sits astride a white horse. Behind him an apologetic older man dressed similarly. Suddenly there is a commotion and a wild boar darts out into the long grass pursued by a motley crowd of dogs. There is nothing to be done to stop them from killing it but Hazel rushes in and does her best. The boar is slaughtered with a mallet brought down on its head. Hazel is mortified and returns to me shaken.

Sinister Game

Five barn owls sit on top of a public school building. They belong to some dodgy teenagers with aggressive fighter dogs. I notice that two of the birds are vultures now. The boys are goading them into some kind of action. What sinister game do they have in mind?