Empty Offer

"I am prepared to buy your silence on the matter of website fraud with these objects- one rod, one cardboard roll and one Xmas style deer figure. Will you accept?"

The Three Disgraces

1)    I haven't had time to learn the dance steps - I can't even see the other dancers to check that I am in time.

2)    I don't know any of the answers to the three questions on football.

3)    The final humiliation: I am left holding a bundle of dry twigs instead of a fine pair of antlers.

Awkward Game

My other self and I are negotiating a pile of cards. Each card is coded with a grid of parallel lines. Amongst them are two identical cards which can only be used once. He wants to take mine but I won't let him. There is an uneasy tension.