Foot Shame

"OH MY GOD - YOUR FEET!!"
C is shocked.

I feel embarrassed - she's right, my toenails are terrible.

Lizard Man

I glimpse a man with the head of a lizard walking past an empty room.

Mother Fist

I am woken by someone gently knocking at the door.  A woman in her late 50's enters with a one year old boy.  I climb out of bed and the child grasps my hands. Except this child is so deformed that his whole body is in the form of one big hand. And what a grip he has on me! He holds so tightly! I try to hide my revulsion. 

"You will have problems with that grip as he gets older," I say to the woman, "he is only One and already he is unmanageable."  Heavy medication will be the inevitable solution, I think to myself.

Monster In My Pond

In my garden pond I notice what looks like a giant toad about 2 foot wide. It can hardly move- the pond just about accommodates its size. As I look closer I see there is an even bigger monster opposite it - a huge slimey octopus with three extra extensions on each of its eight tentacles. It rises up and lurches towards the toad. The most horrific battle ensues. What am I going to do with this thing??? I can hardly fish it out. Euurghhh! I feel sick...

Happy new year gentle reader!

Big Toe Produces Maggot

My big toe is hurting. I take off my shoe to investigate. Two white berries have grown by the nail - I squeeze them and a thick grub about two inches long oozes out.

(UUUrgh...apologies for this one...)

Impressed By Witch

A taxi is due to collect an older flirtatious woman and myself from hospital. Someone produces a Xmas tree wrapped in green netting which unpacks to form a tall witch puppet. Its long branch of an arm whips and crackles around the waiting room.