Stool Shame

I am sitting on a high stool at an art gallery opening and find myself taking a shit surreptitiously through the hole in the seat. Suddenly I become aware of what I am doing and am mortified. I stand up thinking maybe nobody has noticed but the stench is terrible and it is getting everywhere. Everybody is talking about it. I am very apologetic explaining how this has never happened to me before.

Slave Shits Gold

A boy has been captured and a gold collar placed round his neck impossible to remove. He has become a slave to someone reminiscent of Putin. Now when he shits it turns to gold - the slave owner is rich.

Trusty Sheepdog

I have just been to an acquaintance's party where I was barely acknowledged by the hostess. As I walk away barefoot along a dusty shit strewn path a scruffy old sheepdog joins me. She's friendly and defends me from other dogs. A boy joins me. I tell him I think I'll keep this dog, I like her company, despite the fact she is a bit daft. I feel good about that decision.
"But you could always take her," I say to the boy who seems lonely.