Foot Shame

"OH MY GOD - YOUR FEET!!"
C is shocked.

I feel embarrassed - she's right, my toenails are terrible.

The New Artwork

My most recent work is a performance where I create a fruit cocktail.
Halfway through, it dawns on me that I haven't thought up a punchline or developed a comedy persona so I am not able to be funny.  Still worse, I now see that everything about it is meaningless.

The Three Disgraces

1)    I haven't had time to learn the dance steps - I can't even see the other dancers to check that I am in time.

2)    I don't know any of the answers to the three questions on football.

3)    The final humiliation: I am left holding a bundle of dry twigs instead of a fine pair of antlers.

Stool Shame

I am sitting on a high stool at an art gallery opening and find myself taking a shit surreptitiously through the hole in the seat. Suddenly I become aware of what I am doing and am mortified. I stand up thinking maybe nobody has noticed but the stench is terrible and it is getting everywhere. Everybody is talking about it. I am very apologetic explaining how this has never happened to me before.