A blond opera performer is repeatedly put forward as my potential future bride. I am not interested. As the cast line up I know she will be at the end of the row and I try to arrest the action. I am foiled - she disappears concealed by two glittering divas who chase me into a lift. Endless velvet shutters slam shut where the lift doors should be. The scene changes abruptly and I find myself in bed with some big black creature jumping on top of me.