Friday, May 25, 2012

The Itty-Bitty Teaspoon Divider

Someone talks about an idea to overcome cheating. They suggest I demonstrate accurate measurement by using a teaspoon with an itty-bitty divider.

I think it would work better if the divider were moveable.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Three Disgraces

1)    I haven't had time to learn the dance steps - I can't even see the other dancers to check that I am in time.

2)    I don't know any of the answers to the three questions on football.

3)    The final humiliation: I am left holding a bundle of dry twigs instead of a fine pair of antlers.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Missed Opportunity

If only I had a camera, I think, then I could show everyone just how stunning these button decorations look on my plastic storage trays.

There is never one to hand when you need it most.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Mystery of Choreography

I've got lots of questions for the Ballet Rambert choreographer:

Like where do they start?
Does he have an overall idea in mind?
Do they just dance around and see what happens?
How do they remember it?
Do they use notation? What does it look like?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Running Scared

A terrifying chase sequence through dark woods. I'm not sure who is after me - a young man.

It started as a game.

I hide, my heart beating fast, in the shadow of a bush. I hear him rushing down and he stops in the same place or nearby.

Is it myself I am running from?

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Scarey Rolf

Rolf Harris sings softly on Top of the Pops. His face is covered in hair and his mouth filled with white space.

Monday, May 07, 2012

Dangerous Assignation

After 20 years K has come back to life and has a romantic date with an Algerian soldier from the enemy camp.

K is nervous -  he knows it could also be a military trap.  He takes my mobile and a bottle of a substance called AMMO.   It is so thoughtless of him to take the mobile into such a risky environment. I am furious about it.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Face Paint

As an "avant-garde" experiment I black up my face then sleep on it.
The next day I do the same with luminous yellow paint.

Despite being the only one to find it hilarious I am convinced this is radical progress.