Sunday, December 31, 2006
On my bicycle I knock over a ten year old boy outside his home. I take him inside to his father. The boy changes sex. The father sits quiet and passive. Another crash outside. Now the mother crawls into the house, covered in blood, the result of a more serious accident. Still the father sits unmoved posed like the statue of Abraham Lincoln.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
I have driven C's orange mini car to the top of this squatted building. Somehow with ropes and planks we now have to get it downstairs, before the builders demolish all the floors. It wasn't so hard to get it up here - it was a dream after all - so it should be easier than we think to bring it down.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
The chief librarian, muffled in mohair tartan, points to the exit concealed behind panels of red velvet. We shuffle out along low corridors past monstrous insects. "The books are crap here, but we love these creatures, " he tells us. Outside on a rubbish tip, a mother suckles fully clothed human rats.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
The group just isn't what it used to be. Ernest Shackleton and I have taken over from Gary Barlow and Jason Orange. The sound is appalling. Barry Norman shouts abuse at us from the audience. Sometimes you have to know the right time to give something up.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Sue my former psychotherapist yawns as I play to her on the recorder. "I thought it would be a good idea to see you again," I explain. "...sometimes I feel a bit low...I feel I could just...not all the time of course...in fact often I feel fine...I mean...well...I'm on my own you see...Still."
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
"Look, I am not going to tell you that you should not express your religious convictions in your work," I say to a sullen student. "But there has to be an element of danger. It should be like the Devil tempting Christ in the wilderness. I want to see you battling it out. It has to be real."
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I tell a young police officer that I saw an attack on a man on the Brixton to Streatham train. He laughs nervously, "Did he shit himself?"
"He was bleeding,"I reply feeling helpless.
"If he didn't shit himself I can't do anything about it," he says swinging his truncheon.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
My attention is drawn to a horror film which shows a huge animated house going on the rampage. Although it is causing terrible havoc it has an innocence about it like a scared King Kong. I ignore the call to watch this film claiming that I have seen it before.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Three men are here to listen to the pianist and clarinettist. My role is to turn pages, something I haven't done for years. By the second page I am completely lost and miss my queue. One of the men stops the procedings. He points to something on the bass clef line. "What note is this?" I am not sure...a "C"? "I thought as much," he says, "Please leave now."
Saturday, December 09, 2006
We are driving through a thick forest along a track overgrown with weeds. Hazel tells us to duck when the branches are very low and we will be fine. I decide to ride on the roof of the car but soon regret it as I am wearing shorts and the stinging nettles whip my thighs.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
A TV documentary shows an old soap star reunited after ten years with his soap family of wife and three daughters. We watch as they drink to his real life adoption programme. Celebrations are premature as he has not yet been accepted by the authorities as a suitable parent.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
"We will be reviewing your pay," my employer says to me, "We have to make cuts."
"But we run all kinds of exciting projects don't we?" I answer. "Speak up for me, Anne."
"Well Robin," Anne replies hesitantly,"You can never replace Philippa...There I've said it... but you forced me to. You're too disorganised. You're no good as a manager."
Monday, December 04, 2006
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Once again I am waiting in the wings of a theatre. Because I had been so dismissive of this play in rehearsals I didn't learn my lines properly and now I can't remember what my lines are or when I go onstage. If I can only find them I am sure the rest will fall into place. I search frantically for the script.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
I had expected never to see him again. He has returned as a young boy with an incurable mental illness which will grow steadily worse. There is no-one else to care for him. My heart sinks as I lie on the bed with him. The dead weight of his arm is heavy on my shoulder.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
The service is to take place in an old Nissen hut. We strip old paint from the exterior and I insist we paint the guttering a bright orange. The bullish youth leader wants to turn the whole event into a football match. I am livid. She was my girlfriend so I am the one to decide.
I threaten to call the police.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I am playing a part in a Shakespearean play. I have already missed one cue in the first act, and have lost half my costume. Now I am frantically searching for a script to check my lines.
"Don't worry so much about it," one actor advises me, "Relax and the words will come."
I run into the courtyard and scream, "NO! I don't know when I come on. I am not doing it. I can't remember ANYTHING."
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I meet a trendy couple in Paris who ask me to draw their portrait. I make a delicate collaged image which records all of my thoughts- a drawing with my internal soundtrack. When I play it back to them, my recorded inner voice is moaning at the irritating woman, "Stop complaining all the time. Please just shut up for god's sake".
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
We are all a little drunk. I have a slice of cucumber in my pocket left over from last night's dinner party. Fionna suggests it would make a great entrance ticket for my twelve month show at the Dock. We are hysterical with giggles at the idea of everyone having to keep a cucumber slice in their wallet for a whole year.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
In a clear-out session Dad has dumped Edward, Big Ted and Judy in a rubbish cart. I am furious and rant at Mum. She says with a tired voice, "But, dear, your father fought in the Second World War for you." I am not sure this is strictly true but acknowledge that I need to keep things in proportion.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
I have bought my girlfriend a tiny minidress as a present. While she is in the bathroom I squeeze into it only just getting my shoulder in before she enters the room. "Wow, that is a beautiful dress," she says. "It is for you," I say kissing her. She is naturally thrilled.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
There is a grizzly bear in the back yard. He seems friendly enough. I teach him some dance moves. When I return later with my camcorder six huge surly bears have joined him. They eventually leave snarling, but my grizzly remains. He is now wearing shades and looks really mean and unpredictable. I give up on the idea of filming him.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Alice, Hazel and I watch a fashion parade of grim second hand clothes. We assume our role is to buy some of the garments. Too late I realise we have made a mistake and that in fact, tomorrow, we are expected to identify one of the 50 odd models who have paraded in front of us.
Monday, November 13, 2006
A magician appears to grow Gwyneth Paltrow from a strand of hair. Later I find the trick, which is a kind of wig, and playfully place it on Gwyneth P's head as she conceals the rest of her body behind a black curtain. She pushes me away irritatedly- I am not her friend and she does not wish me to come so close.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
A young Philippino man is being hounded by the police and press. His only possible choice is to seek refuge with his family who shunned him years ago. Trembling he looks in through the front window at his family. Will they shelter him or abuse him more violently than the state?